Life, Parenting And Relationships

To Honor And Love



Usually I like to post one Blog a Week but I am presently engaged in a Project that takes all my time. So I have to rely on older Blogs buried in my Website, here is one that I have always been fond of.


To Honor And Love 

No one can help me from myself, at Birth I began, bud into Infant and grow into Adolescent. This is where my trouble begins,I know plenty but not enough to choose the right Paths, unless shown by Parents, Friends and Peer pressure. I Rebel and reject my Parents ideas, suggestions and visions of my future. All they want is a better life for me, I should be grateful for someone taking an interest in me and my well being. In this crazy mixed up world, people have no qualms about abandoning their Responsibilities of Parenting with neglect and abuse. So you think that you can think for yourself, we encourage individual thinkers, but don’t forget it’s only a fool who rejects sound advice, I have never met a parent who went out of their way to steer their Children wrong. If you start now in rejecting sound advice you grow up to be the head of a Company and nothing is changed, lone Wolves do not survive. When your Parents come forward with constructive criticism, all they are doing is protecting their investment in you, food, clothes, shelter and Colleges are big overheads.


This is how I look at it, if I don’t have an interest in someone’s well being, it is because they put me in that position. At that point you can put us in a Room for eight hours and not a word would pass through my mouth, if you insist I’d still be mute or tell you to shut up. Now being a Parent I could not use that technique on my Kids, so I extended myself to them even when disobey and undermine is working together. When there’s a breakdown in communication the bad Blood of silent moments and distrust destroys Families. Why would you even disobey and not honor my wishes, not taking into account that I am the one who decided to give you life,nourishment and Love, and let you freeload for twenty-five years. Yet you deny respect to the one who puts a Roof over your head instead of an Adoption Center. Who is the lucky one who has to go to work whether they feel well or feel like it, and for that devotion to your well being they do. I met a woman who was a mediator listening to half wit people throwing numbers and dissatisfaction at her all day. She decided to put a Swimming pool in her Backyard to unwind at day’s end. Her grown Daughter of twenty five years old, admonishes the way she is spending her hard earned money. What is wrong with this picture? Who is the parent here?


I have seen many Children rule their Parents, this is not what parenting is about, if you let kids wrap you around their fingers you are now the Child. They become the Puppet master, their will is so strong, there’s nothing left of yours. When I was seventeen living under a single moms Roof and told not to do something, if I continued under cloak and got apprehended, got my face slapped, I manned up and took my punishment. Because when the Court hands out punishment they are heavy handed and don’t care if you rot in Prison. At fourteen I thought I was a Man, being naive to think I could outwit and out will a single Mom. I learned quickly not to let the skirt fool me. Years later becoming a Parent myself when my boys were Teens I posted a message on my basement wall, now that you know everything it’s time to move out and pay your own way. I know that I am dwelling but it irks me when kids get to young adults, still under your Roof dislikes your methods and philosophy, yet they aren’t smart enough to realize that two Roosters can’t live in the same Hen House. All we are trying to do is steer you clear of the pitfalls that life beholds, why would you my Child not believe when I try to tell you of the Pitfalls that’s ahead if you are not prepared. Why would a loving Parent allow you to approach them with closed eyes, it is my job not to let you approach life unprepared. It’s my job to prepare you for success or failure, the thought came to me, every Adolescents, Teenagers and young Adults at Home should be honored Guest and not an entitled one. I think everyone of my target group should read this Blog, please share your way to guilt free Parenting. Share to your Children and Grandchildren I will tell them for you that the Bible says to Honor your Parents. This Blog should be Viral, if someone had put something like this in front of me when I was fifteen, my Mother would have Lived an easier Life.



Mothers are phenomenal

My mother had only one eye. When I was growing up, I hated her for it. I hated the uninvited attention it got me at school. I hated how the other children stared at her and looked away in disgust. My mother worked two jobs to provide for the family, but I was just embarrassed by her and didn’t want to be seen with her.
Every time my mother came to visit me at school, I wanted her to disappear. I felt a surge of hatred towards the woman who made me the laughing stock of the school. In a moment of extreme anger, I even once told my mother I wanted her to die. I was completely unconcerned about her feelings.
As I grew up, I did whatever was in my power to distance myself from my mother. I studied hard and got a job overseas so I wouldn’t have to meet her. I got married and started raising a family of my own. I got busy with my job and family and with providing a comfortable life for my beloved children. I didn’t even think about my mother anymore.
Out of the blue, my mother came to visit one day. Her one-eyed face scared my young children and they started crying. I was angry at my mother for showing up unannounced and I forbid her to ever return to my home and new family life. I yelled and screamed, but my mother quietly apologized and left without saying another word.
An invitation to a high school reunion took me back to my hometown after decades. I could not resist driving past my childhood home and stopping by the old shack. My neighbors told me my mother had passed away and left a letter for me.
“My dear child:
I must begin by apologizing for visiting your home unannounced and frightening your beautiful children. I am also deeply sorry that I was such an embarrassment and source of humiliation to you when you were growing up.
I have learned that you may be coming back to town for your reunion. I may no longer be there when you come, and I think it is time to tell you an incident that happened when you were a young child. You see, my dear child, you were involved in an accident and lost one eye. I was devastated at the thought of my beloved child growing up with only one eye. I wanted you to see the beautiful world in all its glory, so I gave you my eye.
My dear child, I always have and always will love you from the bottom of my heart. I have never regretted my decision to give you my eye, and I am at peace that I was able to give you the ability to enjoy a complete life.
Your loving mother.”
by Gift Miyanda

Health, Life

It’s A Wonderful Life

The Life you save

It’s a Wonderful Life

Don’t Blow it

Approaching the Winter of my Life I realize that it could have been  my Autumn Harvest of Longevity, my Mother lived to be ninety seven. Instead I am dreading the approaching years of my Life. One year ago my Doctor told me that she wished all Her Parents were as healthy as my Wife and myself,  Six Months ago on my Biannual Physical she told me that I had Emphysema. What a kick in the Pants sixty seven years old, Healthy as a Horse that needs Lasex to win the Race of my Life. God forgive me for throwing away a perfect Specimen of Life and Health by sucking on Cancer Sticks since I was fourteen. It’s no wonder that when my Doctor gave me the bad News I didn’t twitch a muscle.

I had been expecting it for fifty three years and never once tried to quit. My Wife got up one Day decided that she wasn’t going to continue killing herself anymore, cold Turkey,  that was thirty years ago, she stuck to her Guns. Just around the same time my Brother woke up one morning couldn’t breathe,  that was the last Day he smoked a Cigarette. Who me? Stupid is written on my Forehead, thirty years ago a chest X-ray revealed spots on my Lungs. My Doctor inquired what Brand of Cigarettes  I 🚬 smoked, I told him the most popular Menthol on the Market. He advised me to throw them away and never smoke another or the Spots would turn to Holes, the Chemical they used to make them so smooth were deadly.

I took his advice and the Spots went away, you would have Thought that I would have taken such a close call at thirty and quit smoking period. Sad to say that the Letters on my Forehead dominated the next thirty six years. Now from where I stand Idiot is carved on the back of my Head. When my Doctor gave me the bad News I could hear her unspoken Words ” I have been trying to tell you for years, if you play with fire you will get Burn” in other words I told you so. For years every time she saw me she asked me if I was still smoking, I started smoking at the early age of Fourteen,   authorities in the Medical Field states that smoking at such a young age causes the most Damage due to the delicate under developed Organs.

I have told you many times that my secret weapon for dealing with Life was to always learn from other People’s mistake, not this time around. What’s your excuse? Being the vigilant one always looking at other people’s life and always steering away from Hazardous Lifestyles have kept me from certain Death and Prisons. For instance at nineteen my Best Friend in High School inherited a decent amount of money which he invested the whole amount in Illegal Drugs. Setting up Shop in an Expensive luxury High Rise Apartment Building supplying the Rich and Famous. One Day he returned to NY and searched me out with the offer of running his Business for him and becoming a Kingpin.

I thought it out thoroughly and turned him down flat. The last time I saw him twenty years ago he was running from the FBI. If I was always capable of making good Judgement calls how come I could not make the call of my Life to quit smoking Cigarettes. I’ll tell you why I became addicted to all the Chemicals they put in each Cigarette and didn’t recognize that I had developed a chemical dependency. Bad enough being addicted to Nicotine but Amonia,  Arsenic,  and a host of other deadly Chemicals, now who is the Stupid one for not running out there and getting the Patch after I have told you that your Body after a while develops a liking to all the  poison they use to make them burn smoothly longer and evenly.

Me I am a Dead Man Walking you do not have to walk in my Footprints the time to change the Course of your Death is now. Not waiting to get where I am now and is struggling with a huge withdrawal Dilemma of quitting for twelve Hours and running out the next day and buying a pack because it’s in my Blood and Organs. Of all the times I read the Surgeon General’s warnings on just about every Pack of Cigarettes before I opened them, I always equated them to Just Advertisements. To say the least I should have quit five years ago maybe I would have dodge the Bullet, My Mother died of Respiratory Failure. She never smoke, couldn’t afford to, she suffered with Asthma most her Life.

They removed her from the Respirator,  medicated her with Morphine and put her in a Room to Expire. When you are in Respiratory Failure the Machine becomes you, there is no quality of Life. I was the one who spent the night with her on Death Watch. She had told me many times not to let her Die alone so I obligated Her Wish. That one Night should have made me quit. Watching her gasping for one Breath then count to ten to Grasp the next, that was a Revelation to the Fragility of Life, yet after one hour sleep I went to work at the Nursing Home where I worked daily looking at People, returning the next Day to find their Doors closed, many of them Smokers. Today I am telling you my Door is closing slowly yet I still smoke. Thursday January tenth 2019 a new Survey revealed that Nicotine  is the third most addictive substance behind Heorine and Cocaine. I realize that the Addiction is bigger than I am so next month when I see my Doctor I am asking for the Patch. Life is Wonderful don’t Blow it smoking Cigarettes.

P.S.  Now I understand what they tried  to say to me,  I was not listening then, they are still not Listening now.( Don McLean)

You are Dead right I am trying to Scare you to Live.

To say the least it’s bad for your Skin
Health, Life

Be Smart

Pictures are interactive
Click to expand


Be smart

In all areas our lives we try to do what is smart, Except for our Health and our Habits, both will kill us sooner than later. We should not have to come  face to face with our Mortality before we put down a bad Habbit such as Smoking, before it puts us down. I have been Smoking Cigaretts since fourteen,  over fifty years later this Blog puts me on a Timeline to quit Smoking, or a least develop a formidable cestation program while I can still tell you about it. I have to tell someone, My goal is to save at least one person from sharing my Fate. first let me give you my impression of depriving your body of that which you have giving it for over fifty years, your body is not going to like it. Withdrawal is not an easy task for anyone.

Nonetheless sometimes it becomes Life and Death, and coming full circle with your mortality, or just plain as the nose on your face, that it’s time for action. My Mother was succumbed by Respiratory Failure, being the one who kept watch gave me first-hand at seeing someone grasp for each last breath,  it’s not a pretty sight. I am a Sixty Six years old male who gets a Physical every six months, my Doctor once said she wished all her Patients were as Healthy as us. My Wife woke up one Day and quit cold Turkey, other People I know have done the same. Cashing in your own Chips  is smarter than being cashed in when the Doctor tells you that you must. There it is in a nutshell, I have decided not to wait untill I am Told.

My Advice to you is to do the same and buy yourself a couple of years. Why? Because Life is Precious and good Health is a Blessing that shouldn’t be squandered. I believe that my gift of good Health is supplemented by Exercise and plenty of Liquids preferably water, I am not into Gurus, I have considered Hypnosis to quit. It should not have to come to that, strong Will have been known to Conquer All. I am not trying to move any Mountains,  just take back a couple of years that I have Squandered. So it becomes a matter of will to Live a couple of years more. Most importantly there have been cases where my Doctors have told me being a Smoker puts me at risk when Anesthesia is needed, I don’t want to be told.

One month ago I started writing this Blog but I didn’t want to complete it and post it until I was absolutely resolved. Since then I have been to my Doctor for my Physical which I get twice yearly. The reason for getting a Physical every six months is, if I develop any adverse conditions I want to know about it right away, so that if anything can be done to avert the course, early intervention is way better than sitting on a Time bomb. I am happy to tell you that getting a Physical every six months worked. Six months ago I was given a clean Bill of Health, Blood work, EKG, X-ray. Phenomenol I thought to myself for a sixty six years old Man who had been Smoking since fourteen same time I started smoking Weed and holding it in my Lungs till near passing out, to be in such excellent Health and Physical condition.

Now six months later same routine and She tells me that I have Emphysema. After fifty two years of Slowicide( slowly committing suicide) what do I expect, why am I not surprised why am I not sad, why am I not depressed. Because I dug my own Grave for fifty two years, that my friend is a pretty deep hole of dependency and Addiction. The Toxins have grafted themselves to my Cells and Organs. Going cold Turkey is going to put a beating on my Body and Mind, but I have no choice. I came to Florida to live out my life with a Bang, there is no bigger bang than knowing how you are going to Die. and so My friend by you continuing to put the Poison to your Lips you are sharing my Fate. Some ways I consider myself fortunate, Emphysema is slow Death, Heart Attack, Stroke and Cancer is much quicker and painful, all the above can come from smoking.

I thank the Lord for my wake-up call. This is a little awkward somewhat like writing my Death Journals. I thank him for a Wife who worked in a VA Hospital for twenty five years and have seen it all and knows the importance of constant screening. If it was left up to me I would only go to the Doctor when something hurts. By catching Emphysema from the onset is strategic in the course of Treatment but most importantly I know that I have no other choice than quitting. The Tobacco is now ready to spiral to other Diseases, one Tobacco related Illnesses is enough for me to see the Light, that the Surgeon General have been right all along. Which takes me back to us playing Devils Advocate with our Health by putting Poison to our Lips, minute by minute, hours on into years and not believing or expecting my Diagnosis would come one Day.

Lucky me I have been fortunate to live so long living on the edge. Many have left us in half my years Lorna died at thirty nine from Cancer, Vincent also thirty nine unexpectedly. I have lived a Dove Life with a Halo over me the amount of times that I used up my nine Lives and is now on my tenth. I intend to spend this tenth life well by trying to save at least one life from traveling the same Path that I have traveled, because If I passed through this Life to the other and posses nothing in the way of knowledge that I can’t pass on to someone coming up. Then I will have only existed and not truly Lived. As the saying goes you win some you lose some, you live and you learn. Well my Friend I have learned that being a Pack Mule, or a Sheep is living other people’s lives and not your own.

When I started smoking everyone in the Three stories House smoked except for my Mother she knew better she had Asthma most her life, also the hundred years old Grandma didn’t otherwise she probably wouldn’t be around. When my Kids were teenagers the biggest fights my Wife and I had were about who the kids hung with, due to peer pressure. Her take on the Subject was that everyone needs to live their own Lives and learn by their own mistakes. I on the other hand knew that she was deadly wrong seeing as how the first Joint and the first Cigarette that touched my Lips were handed to me by a twelve year old Catholic School kid when I was fourteen.

You would think that me being the oldest would have known better, not where peer pressure is concerned, how would it look my best Friend younger than I calling me a Woss. I took my first Hit of Colombian Gold and Coughed till I had to sit down. Once the potent Canabis let us flat on our Ass we drank a Beer and smoked a Cigarette, Man were we ever Cool, or so we thought. It’s a known medical fact that the earlier you start smoking the greater the damage to your under developed Body. What did I know about Medical statistics, peer pressure had claimed its newest Victim. In High School still being the Man about Town there was nothing cooler than being under Age sitting at a Table in a Night Club blowing smoke in some fine girl’s Face killing her along with myself. The damage was done from way back then, the rest of my life was just going through the motions feeding the Addiction. As it’s been said time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the Future. I am ending this Blog asking you to do the right thing Quit!!!!

Future Posts on the Subject can be found on my Health Page.  LOL