Life, Parenting And Relationships

On The Axis



Coordinates of Life

It doesn’t matter whether you turned 18 in the 1800s or 1972 or 2000 we all went through the same doubts, insecurity and confusion. We are not Kids anymore yet we are not Adults in the true sense, young Adults maybe, some of us never crossed the Threshold. Crossing over into Adulthood is a big step, it means taking responsibility for everything from here on in. If you choose to use Drugs or Alcohol be aware that for each action there is a reaction, whether Behavioural Psychological or Health and they all have Consequences.


I started smoking Cigarettes at fourteen fifty years later COPD, Emphysema, Marijuana at fourteen, Inertia all through High School, it distracted me from Shakespeare and put me in Edgar Allan Poe’s World, Beer at fourteen Alcoholic at nineteen. Worst of all I was a sneak, living under a Christian Woman’s Roof. Luckily I was able to overcome all but the Cigarettes by twenty one, yeah but at what Price wanting to prove to myself that I was a Man I blew the learning years. By the time that I realized the Importance of a College Education the Window of opportunity was closed. Luckily I broke away from my influences before twenty one, I could have been a Bum for the rest of my Life. In Life your associations picks you up or drag you down, choose them wisely. Don’t be a Sheep in the Herd, be the Shepard.


Peer Pressure is worse than any Addiction it makes you do things that you ordinarily wouldn’t  have even thought of on your own, don’t fall for the Trap, if you love me or if you want to be with me. In High School we had a saying ” instead of pulling themselves out of the Hole they are in a Junkie will pull you in”, part of making the Transition into Adulthood is being your own Person ( Individuality) then there is Responsibility. To me Responsibility is the hardest part about Being an Adult, being an Adult means that now you have to fend for yourself( provide, care and protect yourself) that is why you should not be in a hurry to agitate your Parents with bad behavior, while they are putting a Roof over your head and food in your Stomach, they have your best interest at Heart.


Ask anyone in College who are working their way through School. Fending for yourself without a Proper Education is scrounging Bottom. Don’t be in such a hurry to be Kicked out on your own. Most Parents will support their kids late into their twenties and some Beyond. I once lived next door to a fifty years old Man who lived off his seventy five years old Mother. He lost his Driving Privileges through DUI. Not being able to Drive himself to Work made him a Dependent, he wasn’t even ambitious enough to take any job within walking distance. Being a Dependent all your Life is choosing not to cross the Threshold. Remember the word Responsibility.


The awkward years are difficult for anyone, remember childhood isn’t far behind and the challenges of Adulthood is right in front of you, take time relishing your youth, while making Bold smart steps into Adulthood. As soon as you look around the years are gone and you are now your Parents Reflection, a Parent yourself with the Headaches of raising a Child who knows everything, I was that Child. At fourteen I knew everything including how to get stoned on weed, who did it hurt but me, who suffered from Inertia, me, what did I gained, nothing, what did I loose everything, the chance of being a Scholar and an Author.


Instead I did what I had to do to make a Living to support the Family I could not wait to have, Finding out fifty years later that I like sharing my Thoughts and a Vivid Imagination is an essential for Writing. To be eighteen again I wouldn’t have  blown precious youth in hurrying to grow old. I would have taken  time to smell the Roses before I became addicted to Coffee and Nicotine. At the end of writing this Blog I just Learned that Teens Smoking went up 80% . If Jumping off the San Francisco Bridge was Trending, would you be there. Vaping is Trending please don’t Jump, its just as bad as Nicotine or worse, it gives you Popcorn Lunges. Chart your Course follow your chosen Path because the Axis of Life fades like Footprints in the Sand. Making the right choices dictates the rest of your Life, Eighteen is your fork in the Road choose wisely.



Insights from Alice Cooper


Lines form on my face and hands

Lines form from the ups and downs

I’m in the middle without any plans

I’m a boy and I’m a man

I’m eighteen

And I don’t know what I want


I just don’t know what I want


I gotta get away

I gotta get out of this place

I’ll go runnin’ in outer space

Oh yeah

I got a

Baby’s brain and an old man’s heart

Took eighteen years to get this far

Don’t always know what I’m talkin’ about

Feels like I’m livin’ in the middle of doubt

‘Cause I’m


I get confused every day


I just don’t know what to say


I gotta get away

Lines form on my face and my hands

Lines form on the left and right

I’m in the middle

The middle of life

I’m a boy and I’m a man

I’m eighteen and I like it

Yes I like it

Oh I like it

Love it

Like it

Love it




Eighteen and I like it

Songwriters: Alice Cooper / Dennis Dunaway

Health, Life

It’s A Wonderful Life

The Life you save

It’s a Wonderful Life

Don’t Blow it

Approaching the Winter of my Life I realize that it could have been  my Autumn Harvest of Longevity, my Mother lived to be ninety seven. Instead I am dreading the approaching years of my Life. One year ago my Doctor told me that she wished all Her Parents were as healthy as my Wife and myself,  Six Months ago on my Biannual Physical she told me that I had Emphysema. What a kick in the Pants sixty seven years old, Healthy as a Horse that needs Lasex to win the Race of my Life. God forgive me for throwing away a perfect Specimen of Life and Health by sucking on Cancer Sticks since I was fourteen. It’s no wonder that when my Doctor gave me the bad News I didn’t twitch a muscle.

I had been expecting it for fifty three years and never once tried to quit. My Wife got up one Day decided that she wasn’t going to continue killing herself anymore, cold Turkey,  that was thirty years ago, she stuck to her Guns. Just around the same time my Brother woke up one morning couldn’t breathe,  that was the last Day he smoked a Cigarette. Who me? Stupid is written on my Forehead, thirty years ago a chest X-ray revealed spots on my Lungs. My Doctor inquired what Brand of Cigarettes  I 🚬 smoked, I told him the most popular Menthol on the Market. He advised me to throw them away and never smoke another or the Spots would turn to Holes, the Chemical they used to make them so smooth were deadly.

I took his advice and the Spots went away, you would have Thought that I would have taken such a close call at thirty and quit smoking period. Sad to say that the Letters on my Forehead dominated the next thirty six years. Now from where I stand Idiot is carved on the back of my Head. When my Doctor gave me the bad News I could hear her unspoken Words ” I have been trying to tell you for years, if you play with fire you will get Burn” in other words I told you so. For years every time she saw me she asked me if I was still smoking, I started smoking at the early age of Fourteen,   authorities in the Medical Field states that smoking at such a young age causes the most Damage due to the delicate under developed Organs.

I have told you many times that my secret weapon for dealing with Life was to always learn from other People’s mistake, not this time around. What’s your excuse? Being the vigilant one always looking at other people’s life and always steering away from Hazardous Lifestyles have kept me from certain Death and Prisons. For instance at nineteen my Best Friend in High School inherited a decent amount of money which he invested the whole amount in Illegal Drugs. Setting up Shop in an Expensive luxury High Rise Apartment Building supplying the Rich and Famous. One Day he returned to NY and searched me out with the offer of running his Business for him and becoming a Kingpin.

I thought it out thoroughly and turned him down flat. The last time I saw him twenty years ago he was running from the FBI. If I was always capable of making good Judgement calls how come I could not make the call of my Life to quit smoking Cigarettes. I’ll tell you why I became addicted to all the Chemicals they put in each Cigarette and didn’t recognize that I had developed a chemical dependency. Bad enough being addicted to Nicotine but Amonia,  Arsenic,  and a host of other deadly Chemicals, now who is the Stupid one for not running out there and getting the Patch after I have told you that your Body after a while develops a liking to all the  poison they use to make them burn smoothly longer and evenly.

Me I am a Dead Man Walking you do not have to walk in my Footprints the time to change the Course of your Death is now. Not waiting to get where I am now and is struggling with a huge withdrawal Dilemma of quitting for twelve Hours and running out the next day and buying a pack because it’s in my Blood and Organs. Of all the times I read the Surgeon General’s warnings on just about every Pack of Cigarettes before I opened them, I always equated them to Just Advertisements. To say the least I should have quit five years ago maybe I would have dodge the Bullet, My Mother died of Respiratory Failure. She never smoke, couldn’t afford to, she suffered with Asthma most her Life.

They removed her from the Respirator,  medicated her with Morphine and put her in a Room to Expire. When you are in Respiratory Failure the Machine becomes you, there is no quality of Life. I was the one who spent the night with her on Death Watch. She had told me many times not to let her Die alone so I obligated Her Wish. That one Night should have made me quit. Watching her gasping for one Breath then count to ten to Grasp the next, that was a Revelation to the Fragility of Life, yet after one hour sleep I went to work at the Nursing Home where I worked daily looking at People, returning the next Day to find their Doors closed, many of them Smokers. Today I am telling you my Door is closing slowly yet I still smoke. Thursday January tenth 2019 a new Survey revealed that Nicotine  is the third most addictive substance behind Heorine and Cocaine. I realize that the Addiction is bigger than I am so next month when I see my Doctor I am asking for the Patch. Life is Wonderful don’t Blow it smoking Cigarettes.

P.S.  Now I understand what they tried  to say to me,  I was not listening then, they are still not Listening now.( Don McLean)

You are Dead right I am trying to Scare you to Live.

To say the least it’s bad for your Skin

Health, Life

Be Smart

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Be smart

In all areas our lives we try to do what is smart, Except for our Health and our Habits, both will kill us sooner than later. We should not have to come  face to face with our Mortality before we put down a bad Habbit such as Smoking, before it puts us down. I have been Smoking Cigaretts since fourteen,  over fifty years later this Blog puts me on a Timeline to quit Smoking, or a least develop a formidable cestation program while I can still tell you about it. I have to tell someone, My goal is to save at least one person from sharing my Fate. first let me give you my impression of depriving your body of that which you have giving it for over fifty years, your body is not going to like it. Withdrawal is not an easy task for anyone.

Nonetheless sometimes it becomes Life and Death, and coming full circle with your mortality, or just plain as the nose on your face, that it’s time for action. My Mother was succumbed by Respiratory Failure, being the one who kept watch gave me first-hand at seeing someone grasp for each last breath,  it’s not a pretty sight. I am a Sixty Six years old male who gets a Physical every six months, my Doctor once said she wished all her Patients were as Healthy as us. My Wife woke up one Day and quit cold Turkey, other People I know have done the same. Cashing in your own Chips  is smarter than being cashed in when the Doctor tells you that you must. There it is in a nutshell, I have decided not to wait untill I am Told.

My Advice to you is to do the same and buy yourself a couple of years. Why? Because Life is Precious and good Health is a Blessing that shouldn’t be squandered. I believe that my gift of good Health is supplemented by Exercise and plenty of Liquids preferably water, I am not into Gurus, I have considered Hypnosis to quit. It should not have to come to that, strong Will have been known to Conquer All. I am not trying to move any Mountains,  just take back a couple of years that I have Squandered. So it becomes a matter of will to Live a couple of years more. Most importantly there have been cases where my Doctors have told me being a Smoker puts me at risk when Anesthesia is needed, I don’t want to be told.

One month ago I started writing this Blog but I didn’t want to complete it and post it until I was absolutely resolved. Since then I have been to my Doctor for my Physical which I get twice yearly. The reason for getting a Physical every six months is, if I develop any adverse conditions I want to know about it right away, so that if anything can be done to avert the course, early intervention is way better than sitting on a Time bomb. I am happy to tell you that getting a Physical every six months worked. Six months ago I was given a clean Bill of Health, Blood work, EKG, X-ray. Phenomenol I thought to myself for a sixty six years old Man who had been Smoking since fourteen same time I started smoking Weed and holding it in my Lungs till near passing out, to be in such excellent Health and Physical condition.

Now six months later same routine and She tells me that I have Emphysema. After fifty two years of Slowicide( slowly committing suicide) what do I expect, why am I not surprised why am I not sad, why am I not depressed. Because I dug my own Grave for fifty two years, that my friend is a pretty deep hole of dependency and Addiction. The Toxins have grafted themselves to my Cells and Organs. Going cold Turkey is going to put a beating on my Body and Mind, but I have no choice. I came to Florida to live out my life with a Bang, there is no bigger bang than knowing how you are going to Die. and so My friend by you continuing to put the Poison to your Lips you are sharing my Fate. Some ways I consider myself fortunate, Emphysema is slow Death, Heart Attack, Stroke and Cancer is much quicker and painful, all the above can come from smoking.

I thank the Lord for my wake-up call. This is a little awkward somewhat like writing my Death Journals. I thank him for a Wife who worked in a VA Hospital for twenty five years and have seen it all and knows the importance of constant screening. If it was left up to me I would only go to the Doctor when something hurts. By catching Emphysema from the onset is strategic in the course of Treatment but most importantly I know that I have no other choice than quitting. The Tobacco is now ready to spiral to other Diseases, one Tobacco related Illnesses is enough for me to see the Light, that the Surgeon General have been right all along. Which takes me back to us playing Devils Advocate with our Health by putting Poison to our Lips, minute by minute, hours on into years and not believing or expecting my Diagnosis would come one Day.

Lucky me I have been fortunate to live so long living on the edge. Many have left us in half my years Lorna died at thirty nine from Cancer, Vincent also thirty nine unexpectedly. I have lived a Dove Life with a Halo over me the amount of times that I used up my nine Lives and is now on my tenth. I intend to spend this tenth life well by trying to save at least one life from traveling the same Path that I have traveled, because If I passed through this Life to the other and posses nothing in the way of knowledge that I can’t pass on to someone coming up. Then I will have only existed and not truly Lived. As the saying goes you win some you lose some, you live and you learn. Well my Friend I have learned that being a Pack Mule, or a Sheep is living other people’s lives and not your own.

When I started smoking everyone in the Three stories House smoked except for my Mother she knew better she had Asthma most her life, also the hundred years old Grandma didn’t otherwise she probably wouldn’t be around. When my Kids were teenagers the biggest fights my Wife and I had were about who the kids hung with, due to peer pressure. Her take on the Subject was that everyone needs to live their own Lives and learn by their own mistakes. I on the other hand knew that she was deadly wrong seeing as how the first Joint and the first Cigarette that touched my Lips were handed to me by a twelve year old Catholic School kid when I was fourteen.

You would think that me being the oldest would have known better, not where peer pressure is concerned, how would it look my best Friend younger than I calling me a Woss. I took my first Hit of Colombian Gold and Coughed till I had to sit down. Once the potent Canabis let us flat on our Ass we drank a Beer and smoked a Cigarette, Man were we ever Cool, or so we thought. It’s a known medical fact that the earlier you start smoking the greater the damage to your under developed Body. What did I know about Medical statistics, peer pressure had claimed its newest Victim. In High School still being the Man about Town there was nothing cooler than being under Age sitting at a Table in a Night Club blowing smoke in some fine girl’s Face killing her along with myself. The damage was done from way back then, the rest of my life was just going through the motions feeding the Addiction. As it’s been said time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the Future. I am ending this Blog asking you to do the right thing Quit!!!!

Future Posts on the Subject can be found on my Health Page.  LOL