Ambition, America, Christmas, Life, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships, Religion

A Labor of Love

Spitting out Words 45000 at a time is a Labor of Love, Wanting to tell a Story so bad, you force yourself to become a better Writer, Constant Promotion yields Results. I Am quite sure that you remember me telling you about writing a Blog in One Sentence?


America, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships

The Book / Through Her Eyes

Way back in 1910 People who had Children with Special needs would hide their Children away. Never to be seen in public, when they had visitors, the Children would be locked away in the Attic or Basement. Ignorance and Indifference was the norm. In 1972 my Twelve years old Buddy and I would sit in the back of the School near the Rectory. While the Sun faded in the Skyline, we would sit there smoking the Finest Marijuana grown around the World. He would tell me Stories about his Classmates being Emasculated in the Rectory. I would tell him that he was making up Stories. He would say Pope, the Name he called me, I Swear it’s true. Forty years later his Stories made Headlines. Back then you say something like that about the Church and your Parents would tell you to get down on your Knees and beg the Lord for Forgiveness. Back then speaking about Homosexuality was a Taboo. So was having an open Discussion about Racism. Our Parents would say, that’s just the way things are, leave it alone, end of Discussion. Fifty Three years later and the Mindset remains the same. In Fifty Three years of being in the Workforce, there has not been One Day that I never experienced some form of Racism. Yet my Friends, White and Black, look at me Queerly when I tell them what my Book is about. In other words like our Parents said Fifty Three years ago, leave it alone. What is up with People leaving an Important Discussion alone. Way back then people didn’t have that Sex Talk with their Children.

People went to Woodstock and slept in a different Tent with a different Partner for One Week. Look at the Outcome, Aids. At Fifteen years old my Mother had that Sex Talk with me. She said when you are feeling your Oats thinking that you are a Man, don’t forget to keep your Drawers up. She continued, you don’t have a Job or an Education. How are you going to take care of a Child? Furthermore, I am not going to raise your kids. She was not your average Mother. As far as Racism was concerned, she said, no One is better than you, more Privileged, better Educated and more Money, but no better. She continued, they may never accept you but they will always Respect you for the job you do. It was her Inspiration that kept my Head above the Muddy Waters of Racism growing up in the Seventies. And Today in appreciation for her Wisdom, I wrote my first Book, giving a Tribute to her. What else would I have Titled my Book? Through Her Eyes is due in the Barnes and Noble online Bookstore in October. I refuse to lock my Feelings away in the Attic and Basement of Indifference. If you don’t have needed Discussions, one day they will Explode in your Head and your Face.

For instance not Teaching your Kids Sensitivity. Many years ago in Greenwich Village in N.Y.C. a young Gay Man was beaten to a Pulp with Baseball Bats by Five Kids from Good Families. The Man Died of his Injuries, not knowing the reasons for his Attack. Through Her Eyes is the Recounting of Fifty Three years of Insensitivity. If we don’t have that Discussion now, Fifty Three years from now Innocent People will still be meeting their Death with Baseball Bats. Look where we’ve been and see where we are going. Through Her Eyes isn’t looking through Colored Glass, it’s One Blogger’s Journalistic Recounting of living in America. It’s a darn Shame that when you tell People the truth, you don’t know how they are going to react. So to my Followers if you really want to Know who I am you need to read my Book when it becomes available. After writing this I asked my Wife? How’s that for an Infomercial? She said I was only telling it like it is. She was Born in South Carolina, Twenty Miles from Sumter where the Civil War started. A War to keep Slavery intact. She went to a Blacks only School and couldn’t drink from a white only Water fountain if she was Dying of Thirst. She has not read my Book, the memories are still Haunting.

Nicolas Cruz
Killed 17 fellow Students

Ambition, America, Life, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships

My Emotional Psych

My Emotional Psych

What is emotional psychology?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), emotion is defined as “a complex reaction pattern, involving experiential, behavioral and physiological elements.” Emotions are how individuals deal with matters or situations they find personally significant.

Thirty years ago while doing Interior Demolition work in a Cell in a Federal Prison, where most of the Prisoners were Lifers. I took down a Wall, inside the Wall this Picture laid in a pile of dirt. I cleaned it up and saved it for Thirty years, now it has found its Rightful place on the Cover of my first Book. The Picture signifies to me the Freeing of One’s Soul, being set free from this Despotic Place we call Earth. Can you imagine someone doing a Life Sentence, never to ever again walk the Streets as a free Man. So much longing to be free, coming up with such a Concept that this Picture Portrays. Then I think to myself, I’m not Free. One year ago I was on my way Home after working in the Courthouse, crossing a Bridge that People do One Hundred M.P.H. nightly. My Car does 170, yet I have never taken it past 80, in a 70MPH zone. The Bridge is Posted 45, I never go past 50. Upon exiting the Bridge, at the foot of the Bridge a Police Cruiser lays wait, shining a 600 watt Lamp in my Face while I am doing 50, five MPH over the Speed limit. He pulled me over and wrote me a Ticket, stating that I was doing 60 MPH. Here I am a Contact Employee working for the County being Racially Profiled and given a Padded Ticket. I thought to myself, if this can happen to me, what about some poor Black Kid wearing a Hoodie? A Bullet to the Head at the end of a dark Bridge span could easily be covered up. This Book is my Legacy to all the Innocent young Blacks sitting in a Prison Cell longing for Freedom, or setting their Souls free. Like the Man said Give me Liberty or give me Death. I Personally find Racism a Significant enough of an Issue to write a Book about it. I work in the Government, I Drive Two bad Rides and live in a Predominantly White Middle Class Neighborhood, yet I am not above Bigotry, Racial Profiling and Racism, so what chances do a Poor Dumb Black Kid from the Hood have. The following are my Original Thoughts ” If you have lived long enough to get Old and you have nothing to pass on to the next Generation, in the form of learning and Teachings, you have not truly lived only existed “. This Book is Fifty Three years in the make. Here are Excerpts-from the Book

Yet you tell me that Black Lives Matter, to whom? It don’t make no Matter( Slave Ebonics, meaning it doesn’t make any Difference). As a Contact Employee working in a Justice center, I see so many young Blacks caged up in Prison Cells. I say to myself, their Lives don’t Matter to them, why should it matter to me? When I was a Juvenile Delinquent, I came to the Crossroads and took the right turn. That’s how come I am working in the System and not residing in a Cell. ” To Thine own self be true and Trustworthy” In Mark 8:34 Jesus said, “If anyone would…..My Book is Due in about Two Weeks. I had just finished writing this Boost for my Book in the Fourth Floor Hallway. The Elevator came, I heard footsteps heading my way, so I held the Door open. A young White Brother got on and told me thanks, I asked him what Floor, I punched the floor. Getting off on the Second floor, he gave me the Fist Bump and said Goodnight. I felt a little Guilty for things that I said in the Book about the crooked Justice System, he was an Attorney who worked for the Attorney General. The Bottom line is that with Civility we can live in Harmony, or at least get along. I am not a Hate Monger, I am not Tunnel Visioned, I know that there are Good and Bad in all. I didn’t write this Book for anyone over Thirty, because I’m a firm believer that you can’t teach old Dogs anything, because they are set in their ways. This Book is for young people like the young Attorney on the Elevator. We don’t have to Love Each other, all we need is to be Civil, Respect is Earned, not given or taken. You Guys need to go read my Book when it becomes available. It’s a Small Book filled with Big Thoughts of Mending Fences. It’s Available through XLIBRIs Publications Amazon and Barnes and Noble, when it gets here. Tolstoy is not my favorite Author, Once I have made my Point, I am done Talking.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Real Friends




I guess that it is true what they say about the writing 🐜 Bug, once you get it there is no stopping. My first Book is Due in the Bookstores before November published by Xlibris. Instead of stressing the outcome I have started on my second Book and have a Third and Fourth in mind.

Here are Excerpts from my first Draft –


Real Friends

One of the Great Mysteries of Life is a Child being born with Prodigious Skills in all Faucets in life. My Favorite Child Prodigy is a young man by the name of Mattie Stepanack. Mattie’s Mother was cursed with having Defective Children, all dying before they made it to Adolescent and Teenage. I believe that Mattie made it to Thirteen, I am not One hundred percent sure of that. Undoubtedly Mat was a child Prodigy, he started writing as early as Nine years old. Before the time of his early Demise, he was a Published Author and Speaker. It was not his Fame that Gravitated me to him, it was his deep Empathy and love for his Mother and his Grasp on the Workings of Life. Precisely how life is un-giving, uncertain and unfair. There is no doubt in my mind that he had seen his Mortality way early in his youthful Life. While most of us only Glimpse finality at the very end. Mattie came to mind while I decided to write about true friends and True Love. What brought on this Train of Thought was thinking of my first love and all the People in my life that called me Friend, then faded from my life. I was Twelve years old, Millicent was no more than Ten. That Child Professed her love to me in no uncertain manner and term, in front of both our Parents, I blushed. As if she was saying I belong to you and you are mine for Life. That was the last time I saw Millie, we were saying goodbye, I moved Fifty Miles away. Fifty years later I am asking the question, is there such a thing as a Prodigy of Love, could she have been my Juliet. I don’t know if I am getting ready to Die, but the things that I think about these Days are absolutely Riveting and Bewildering. The most Bewildering thought is, where are all my friends? What happened to Millie and I was beyond our control. But what happened to the People who I grew up with from the time of Millie and beyond. Some of them we made it through High School together. Then we all went our own ways and never looked back or tried to reach out to each other. If this is the way that life should be lived, then life certainly is cheap and is affected by the Impairment of normal Physical, Sociological and Psychological Functions. Living life like this reminds me of the time I rescued a Puppy moments after his mother had just given birth to it, then abandoned it to die. I gave it it’s first Meal, that Pup never had one sip of it’s Mother’s Milk. That was totally unbecoming of any Mother, Human or Dog. That should have been an Eye opener for me of the way things have become, Humans have become Animalistic and Animals shows Human Traits. Many young women have left their newborns on the Steps of Churches, or Dumpsters. All this gives Credence to the Phrase Dog eat Dog World.

Ambition, America, Life, Motivation, Parenting And Relationships

Self Reliance

Self Reliance

My last Blog I wrote about a Homeless Woman in her Twenties, I pondered how that was possible. Today I got the Answer watching a young and proud Father Lugging his Five years old Son into a Supermarket pushing a Cart. My Mother told me that I could not wait to walk at Seven Months old. Tumbling down frequently, but never stopped trying until I got it. Believe it or not selfreliance starts that early. Once you’ve got it no one can take it away from you. Selfreliance rivals Self-preservation, they are actually Cousins. At eight years old, my Brother and Two Friends almost killed me. They tried to teach me how to Swim many times, but I just wasn’t grasping it. One Day they invited me to join them in a small Boat to go Fishing. Just about One Hundred yards from the Shore, They shoved me in the Ocean, Forty Feet deep. This was their Foolproof way of getting me to learn how to Swim. After Drinking a Belly full of that Saltwater, I decided that I wasn’t going under again. I started Doggy paddling, then stretched myself out and started Breast Stroking to the Shore.

That was my Ultimate Lesson in Self Reliance and Self-preservation. Still only Eight years old, on that same Beachfront. One Day while fishing from the Shore, I heard a Commotion coming from a Boat half sunken from the weight it was carrying. As the Boat got closer I could see my Friend Lefty paddling with his One remaining Hand. Lefty was the One who taught me how to Fish. While Teaching me how to Fish he told me how he lost his Right Hand. One Day He was fishing, a Fish the same size as the One in the sinking Boat he was paddling towards me begging for help to Moor the Boat. On that Fateful Day when he lost his Arm, he was fishing with a Surf Rod and Hundred pounds Test Line. A Blue Marlin took the Bait and Broke the Rod. Poor Lefty didn’t want to lose Months of good eating. He wrapped the Hundred pounds Test just below the Elbow. In my lifetime I have seen Nine Hundred pounds Marlins. No one knows how big was the Fish that Surgically removed his Forearm Five years earlier. Today was my Day to become a Man. I swam out to the Boat to help Lefty, he threw me the Mooring Rope. I swam back to the Shore and with every Muscle in me, I pulled that Boat carrying a Four Hundred pounds Marlin, till the Bottom was stuck in the Sand.

For my Reward, Lefty gave me a Sixty pounds Slab of Fish that was sold at Twenty Dollars a Pound. That’s a Six Hundred dollars payday for an Eight year old. Not all Boys are Fortunate to live Tom Sawyer’s Life. But robbing them of the right to learn Independence is absolutely wrong. Anyway getting back to that young Father. Teaching your kids to be Lazy also starts that early. To tell the truth, I have seen Nine and Ten years old sitting in the Shopping Cart while their Parents pushed them around the whole Store. On the Kid’s part, that is Lazy and Spoiled rotten. On the Parents part that is Stupid and careless, Knuckling under to some spoiled Child’s whim’s. Can you believe all of this, just to tell you about a Man who was my Neighbor. The Name is Fictitious, however the Man was real. Ever since I moved to Florida, I have noticed an inordinate amount of Grown Men, some as Old as Sixty riding Bicycles as their main means of Transportation.

That usually happens when your License is lifted Permanently, for either DUI or just plain Negligence John was about Fifty years old living with his Spry Seventy years old Mother. Who Owned the House, Bought the Food, paid the bills and bought his Cigarettes. He didn’t Drink, so that told the Story of his Driving Privilege restrictions. He had no Hobbies Craft or Vocation. However he had a Pet Dragon ( a big Lizard) and that is the end of this Blog. She never allowed him to grow up, now she has a Fifty years old Boy on her Hands. Parting Words ” you have to let them stretch their Legs”. Otherwise, they will never stand on their own Two Feet. I have got to tell you Guys, I love writing in this Paradoxical Style…What does it mean if someone is paradoxical?
adjective. If something is paradoxical, it involves two facts or qualities that seem to contradict each other. Some sedatives produce the paradoxical effect of making the person more anxious. (Highs and lows, happy and sad) Synonyms: contradictory, inconsistent, incongruous, ironic. My Mom’s favorite Phrase was ” In Harmony” My favorite Word is incongruous – not in Harmony. I have just completed my First Book, it’s about the forbidden Subject- Racism! In it I am Critical of the Church while Acknowledging God’s Grace. I Lambasted Haters while Praising my White Friends. I Sympathize with the Plight of the Black Man, being One, while kicking him in the Ass for Black on Black Hate and for not Knowing that Africa was once the Greatest of Empires. If that isn’t Paradoxical then the Word doesn’t exist. Now I begin the Journey of finding a Publisher or to Publish it myself on Amazon. I have Two Hundred and Fifty Followers on WordPress and Eight Hundred Fake Friends on Facebook and maybe Twenty Real Ones. That’s a good start for Sharing the Ebook version. Anyway Life is just a Play and we are all just Bit Players. How you play your Role determines who we are.